Dating in the World of Social Media
The dating world has changed significantly over the past 50 years. I recently researched the root cause of why people seem to be in less committed relationships and what is reported as a low desire in younger people for marriage and children. What was so interesting is it seems to start for many in the teenage years!
People are social beings. This is why COVID was so hard on individuals resulting in isolation, mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, and a fear of connecting with others. The time people spent locked up in their homes influenced people’s confidence in connecting with others. For an entire group of younger people, it seems to have shifted thinking from reliance on the community to reliance on self. Emerging from COVID has been difficult for some to reconnect with society and resume social behaviors that keep societies going.
Fear is a major factor. Fear of commitment, fear of being wrong, fear of being rejected, fear of missing out, etc. are underlying issues reported as reasons for not engaging in dating relationships. The helicopter parents’ era interfered with the natural separation of children from parents as teenagers are supposed to get to know someone of the opposite sex with parent involvement and even knowledge. However, the tracking apps and the over involvement of parents adds another complexity to young people who should be learning how to navigate relationships with their peers. This has resulted in about 50% of people not dating at all during their teenage years!
The research revealed many people still want to get into a lasting relationship. Many want marriage and children; however, social norms, social media, and dating apps have discouraged people from wanting to even try to get into a relationship. This is not to say everyone you meet secretly desires a long-term commitment. There are questions to ask once an attraction is identified that can help you discern if the person is looking for a similar relationship outcome as you may be.
Before your next date, think about what you want and be open about it with the person you go out with. Ask yourself what qualities you are looking for in a person and if you possess similar qualities. For example, if you want someone in shape, are you in shape? IF you want someone who is well read, can you say the same about yourself? And are you ready to commit? If not, you are just wasting the other person’s time.
If you decide you want to get into a relationship, my advice is to stop scrolling through dating apps and invest in the person you date. When you date and scroll at the same time, you are not giving the person you date, or yourself, the opportunity to truly get to know one another. If you think you are looking for someone “better” than the one you are with, then most likely you are not in the right relationship and you should cut ties. It is in both of your best interest to give 100% to one another.
Two supplemental articles to read can be found at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202505/the-new-rules-of-dating
https://aibm.org/commentary/gen-zs-romance-gap-why-nearly-half-of-young-men-arent-dating